First Time Sex
Sex Tips For Men | Good First Sex Guide
The first time sex is engaged can be a nerve racking experience. Most people, by the time that they have sex, generally have some understanding of how it works. Penis goes into some orifice, thrust around until orgasm and sex is done. That’s a crude and basic understanding but it’s something that a lot of first time sexual experiences will have based on peoples stories.
If you’re lucky enough to be paired with someone that has had a little experience, you might find the whole experience a little easier to deal with but there’s still going to be a lot of nervousness, no matter how confident you seem to be outside of the bedroom, or in life. This article we’ve compiled a list of tips for first time sex experiences, so that you can have some basic knowledge of what to expect when others won’t tell you, or have shown you. Here, is exactly what you need to know to prepare yourself for the first time that you have sex.
Sexual Education
Let’s face it, most sexual education is atrocious. It teaches you the mechanics of what is needed in so far as to have reproductive sexual experiences, but beyond that you’re left clueless. You might have gone through the entirety of schooling without ever learning what a clitoris was, or what a prostate is let alone where to find them on the body.
Sex education doesn’t teach us about the pleasures of sex, only about the mechanics of the genitals and how they work in the performance of reproduction. If you’re a gay boy, or if you’re more interested in the pleasure of sex as opposed to reproduction, then you’re certainly going to be left behind. Sex education, in this respect is something that needs to change. Why?
Because if we do not teach young men and women on the pleasures of sex then we are leaving their education up to their consumption of pornography, porn magazines, movies, television and their peers. With the exception of peer based learning, which arguably at a young age would be quite poor, then none of these sources are accurate and comprehensive sources of sexual education.
Get To Know Your Body
We have covered this one in our article, best ways to masturbate but we are going to rehash that here. It is important for men to get to know their bodies. To work out what feels good, what doesn’t feel good and how to stimulate the body, and that means to masturbate. We encourage masturbation that is done properly.
We don’t mean this to be a quick jerk off session in the bathroom before anyone finds out that you’re doing the deed, but to take the time to explore your body and to work out what specific things feel good to you, and what things don’t. Too often anal play is said to be dirty and gay, and that needs to change for our increased sexual pleasure and health. Sure, you might not like it, but at least it’s something that you have explored.
Question Everything
You need to question your consumption of media and sexual expectations that have arisen from that. Specifically in porn, there is always a dominant and a submissive partner. The submissive partner is inevitably linked as being the passive recipient, or the one being penetrated, both in heterosexual and homosexual pornography. Just because you’re a male, and you want to penetrate someone does not necessarily mean that you have to be in charge.
Rather, sex should be more about a conversation where a person communicates their needs and their desires. In that regard, pornography depicts that all gay submissive men, and women like to have semen all over them. No, this is not necessarily the case. Some people, especially women, will find the act to be degrading. So, maybe even before you have sex, take note of where they might or might not want your spunk to be on their body. Alternatively, wear a condom.
What Is Sex?
Sex is more than just orgasms and penetration. Sex is about intimacy, closeness, arousal and emotions. The major message when it comes to sex and sexuality, is that once a man has ejaculated the sex is then over. That’s not the case at all. Sex is about a connection with another human being, sure it might be driven by lust and hormones and all that jazz, but at its core, sex is about a connection.
The Dreaded Safe Sex
Lots of people hate this conversation. And I agree that there’s a lot of fear based development when it comes to STI’s and sex. However, it is still an important aspect of sex. Bring condoms. If you’re ready to have sex, you should be able to go out and buy condoms. If you can’t go to the chemist and buy condoms without fear, then you probably shouldn’t be having sex. That’s a very god indication of whether you have the emotional and mental maturity hat tis required to have sexual relations.
In that regard, you might have heard that men need to wear condoms before having sex, but have you ever heard the question of which sized condom? You’ve probably never been told that you might need to measure up your penis to ensure that you’re wearing the correct fit.
Make First Time Sex Enjoyable
In order to have a great sexual experience, you need to enjoy the moment. Be in the moment. It might be a little difficult especially if you’re feeling nervous and out of the loop. You need to forget about the things that you’ve seen in the movies and TV and remember that they’re not real. This is not a game to make you into some kind of sexual stallion, and with that in mind you need to be ensuring that you’re focusing on foreplay as well, and not just how to stick it in.
Sex might hurt the first time that you do it. Your penis might be extremely sensitive, you/they might be virgins and not used to intercourse, and therefore you need to expect some pain and mistakes to happen. If you, or your partner, have a very thick dick then you might need to make certain accommodations for that. Penetrative intercourse might not be a viable option at that point in time, and you will need to have other plans in place and that includes the use of lubricant. A lot of people will be nervous on their first time, so lubricant is an essential part of making things go smoothly.
Great Sexpectations
Everyone’s first time is a very different experience. And when you first go to have sex, you might not be considering any of the above, especially in regards to communication. But it is important to communicate, just because someone appears to be aroused, doesn’t mean that they’re going to consent to being touched. Consent is often linked to being cardboard cut outs and a very stiff conversation, but it doesn’t have to be. Active and an enthusiastic consent can be an extraordinarily sexy part of foreplay, and when done correctly isn’t at all awkward.
In that regard, it’s important that you feel like you are in a space or relationship where you can ask for what you need. You should be free to articulate your sexual desires, and sexual needs in a safe and empowering way. That’s the thing, unless your partner has an ability to read minds – then in order to have great and fulfilling sex, you’re just going to have to ask for what you want.
Is Climaxing The End?
Just because you or your partner reaches orgasm quickly does not mean that the sexual experience can be over. There are other ways to both give and receive an element of pleasure and this can be done with the sense of touch, orally, or even with some fun and sexy dirty talk to help your partner also achieve climax. There is a lot of emphasis on boys and their ability to maintain an erection for sexual pleasure, but let’s face it.
A boys first time in having sex and he will most likely ejaculate faster than a boiling kettle. So keep that in mind. Your first sexual experience, might just be a little quicker than what you were expecting. Conversely, you might be feeling a lot of pressure, and your penis might not be able to achieve a full erection due to the psychological emotions and feelings that you are feeling, don’t worry. It happens, especially when you’re just starting out and in almost every single case, any form of erectile dysfunction will disappear over time.
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